Jazz Band Midterm Project

Original Midterm

Abstract

The research done shows the reader that even band communities can be considered as discourse communities. The purpose of the study was to determine whether or not a musical community can be considered a discourse community and to show how a band interacts to achieve a common goal. The beginning consists of defining a discourse community and generally bringing up two different types of study, such as John Swale’s research and Sean Branick’s research. The methodology was done by interacting with a band for one session. Then the results were described by describing, as a narrative, what happened during the session. The results were then compared to what Swale’s and Branick researched. This is just the beginning of research done on musical communities. Therefore, the research can expand to further topics relating musical communities to discourse communities.

Introduction

A discourse community is a community of people who work together to achieve a set of common goals. Discourse communities are studied so that different communities can be analyzed. It is important to know how a community functions in order to succeed. The way different communities function can show us a lot about how to act in a group or how a community can function to become successful. For example a failing community can be compared to a succeeding in community to see how the two groups function and what actions should be done and not done in order to make a community prosper.

Much research has been done on discourse communities. One researcher, John Swales, identifies a community as a discourse community by determining whether or not they follow six specific characteristics. According to Swales, if a community has a set of shared goals, has different ways to communicate, uses different forms of communications to announce important details or announcements, have different genres of literature and communication, has a specific lexis, and finally, has a members who have more authority than others, then it is considered a discourse community. Swales did research on different communities to determine whether or not they were considered discourse communities. Another researcher, Sean Branick, researched how literature is important in a discourse community. He discussed written literature but also body and mental language.

Usually when one speaks about discourse communities, they think about academic, business-related, sports-related, or online related communities. But, what about bands or music groups? Are they considered discourse communities?? Do outsiders consider band members to be part of discourse community? What do the band members think about the actions they did in the community? But a topic that is rarely studied is whether or not members of a band, while in the band, consider themselves to be part of a discourse community? Since most studies are not focused on musical communities, this study will determine whether or not musical communities can be considered discourse communities. Specifically, the community of the Bronx H.S of Science Jazz Band will be examined.

Methodology

At first, I thought the best way to do my research was to interview a friend who was still in it. But after a few questions, I realized that this was actually a total waste of time and threw all the questions out. Instead, I decided to visit them personally on a practice day. They did not know I was coming. Not only did I watch them practice and have a normal jazz band practice session, but I also became part of the band and did everything they did. I used many personal experiences. The actions done while visiting reminded me about all the things I did when I was in the band and I took note of everything I remembered. The analysis of the results came from the actions that happened during the band rehearsal. To make sure I took note of every action done during this session, I had a notepad and pencil and took notes of everything that happened. This was done so that I did not waste time deciding what was important and what was not. Later on, prior to writing this piece, I crossed out what I didn’t feel was important and left what was important. To determine whether or not an action was important, they were rated based on a scale of 1-10, 10 being the most helpful in analyzing the band as a discourse community and one being the least helpful. Anything above a rating of 5 made the final cut. This list of actions was used to determine what to talk about in this piece.

Results

As I watched a normal practice day of the Bronx H.S of Science jazz band, I realized a lot of things about the jazz band community. As an observer, I noticed a lot of things that I did not realize when I was actually in the jazz band. The first thing I realized was that an alumnus, one who had been in a jazz band before he graduated, was always welcome back without a problem. That is only if the band still had members that were in the band when the alumnus was in the band. If the alumni graduated and came back 5 yrs later, when the members he knew also graduated, then he would not really be welcomed because no one in the current band knows him. In my case, I went to visit this year, only a few months after I graduated. There were still members (current seniors, juniors, and sophomores) who I knew and therefore welcomed me. The newcomers, who only knew me from the stories the others told them only asked if all the stories told were true.

The first thing that happened when I went to visit, was a huge cheer that came from the band and the conductor, a young teacher, approached me for a hug. I was one of his favorite students because I was known to be a prodigy on the trumpet and made most of his visions for the band possible. I was the trumpet leader, making me the leader of the whole band. I had the responsibility to make sure the band was on the right track and that no one was slacking off. As band leader, I had more authority than everyone else. I was able to pick more songs to show to the conductor for us to play and I was in charge of controlling the band during solo periods, such as improvisation periods during a song. As I went to my disciple, the trumpet player who was one seat under me and who learned mainly everything from me, I was pleased to see that he took the role of being the leader of the band. He urged me to take out a trumpet and to lead the band during one of the songs I chose, “Superstition” by Stevie Wonder. I urged him that he was the leader now, but for old time’s sake, he convinced me to take charge with the song.

As this happened, I remembered the lexis that we had and all the ways we communicated that only the band knew the meaning. I said, “Let’s start to the top and at measure 27, we’ll do repeats for improved solos for 16 bars. Remember to make the crescendo visible and make sure the notes in the beginning weren’t too staccato and bounced a little for a funky tone” As we got to measure 27, the band knew the drill. Whoever wanted the solo would make eye contact with me and I would make sure I saw everyone. I would point at who’s turn is next during the solo and that player would do his solo. When I wanted the solos to be done I would do a rotation with my finger in the air, which meant that I was the last soloist and the piece would continue on from there. In the middle of the song I noticed that we were speeding up and tapped my finger on the stand three times. The band members knew that meant to follow the drummer’s tempo. This lexis came to us by common sense. We did not know that we were making our own kind of communicating system. We did not realize that this is what was happening.

As I continued to observe, I noticed that nothing has changed besides the new members. Even if there were new members, they were treated like every new member was treated when I was in the band. The freshmen were still picked on, not in a mean way, but in a way that we all thought was fun including the freshmen. I remember when I was a freshman and enjoyed the puns. “ Hey bud, is that bass too heavy for ya! Come on man strum the stringers faster.” That was only one of the jokes I heard when I was there. Although you had to audition to get in, the new members were always welcomed and never frowned upon. The decision to let a player in was always the conductor’s decision. Even if the band leader had a lot of authority, the conductor had more and always had the final word.

I remember playing one song, and the last measure consisted of bunch of screaming high notes that were supposed to be done using a flutter tongue. It was one of those moments that I used to shine in a concert. I looked at my conductor and he had his arms wide open. I knew that meant he wanted a big finish, even if he knew I had not played since I was in the band. I hit the notes with great precision. The whole band clapped and the conductor said, “I knew you still had the chops to do it.” My former mates praised me and said “Zeyad you are still “The Wild One”, a nickname given to me my sophomore year. Even though it seemed like this practice day was more of a fun day, it really wasn’t. A concert was coming up, and the songs that I played were songs that they were doing for the concert. So it was a huge practice for them, because I was showing them how it should be done. Speaking about concerts, concerts were always known to be the common goal to all the members. Every member strived and practiced to make sure they knew their parts fully for the concert so that they would not let anyone down, and at the same time, entertain others with what they loved doing. Although this was a major shared goal, the most important shared goal was to prosper as jazz players and music players overall.

The second half of the practice was used to look at future songs. There were a couple of known sites for musicians to look at sheet music. Sheet music was basically a genre. It was the pieces of paper or booklet where we read our music out of. We would listen to potential tunes and interesting ones were bought. I remember at the end of the practice, with no control over myself, I asked the freshman to take our folder with the sheet music and put it away. It wasn’t to be mean to him, but it was just a thing all new band members had to do. Sheet music was not the only genre though. We had a google doc filled with songs that were recent and just came out that sounded fun and good to play. Sheet music would not be out. So we would use computer software to compose the songs ourselves and then play them in class if they were good enough. Of course, that
decision was made by the conductor.

Discussion

According to Swales, a discourse community has to follow six characteristics in order to become a discourse community. The first point is having shared goals. In this case, the shared goals are the concert and becoming better musicians. The members work together to achieve these common goals. They make sure everyone knows his or her parts and whenever needs help, help was given. The second point is mechanisms to communicate. One way is the google doc and facebook page for the band was used. For example, if a decision that sunglasses were going to be used in a song on a concert, the facebook page would remind everyone to bring in the accessory. There are also different genres of communication. For example, body language was used during a song. Hand notations during a song will be used to send a message to the other band members. Another point is that these communications are used for a purpose . In this case, they did. Body language was used to communicate during a song, facebook page was used to notify the members with important details, and the google doc was used to expand our knowledge of songs available and to communicate in general. Another point is having a set of genres. One that all group members understand is the body language. Even new members catch on after the first week. Also, sheet music can be considered a language. The fifth point is having lexis. We do have lexis. This could be the musical terms we use or even the body language we use, such as crescendo or the finger rotation in the air. The sixth point is that there is a difference between older members and new members. Older members did have more authority and were more open in the band. There was a role that the band leader played and a conductor. The section leaders had the responsibility to make sure the members in the section new the parts. Any problems were to be reported to the conductor so that he can deal with it.

According to Branick, a discource community has many different types of literacy ranging from actual literature to the leader’s ability to read a player. Branick uses the example of football coach community. The coach had a playbook that consisted of all the plays he knew and the players were expected to know. If the coach yelled out a play to be used, the players were expected to know what to do. The coach also had to be able to read the game and know what to do in certain situations. The coach needs to also be able to read the players and know how to motivate them and put them on the right track. For example, if a player had a few bad games and lost confidence, the player would need to know the player on a personal level to be able to motivate him and make the player gain confidence. Compared to football coach community, a jazz band community is the same thing. We had folders filled with sheet music and we had the responsibility to learn the songs in it. It is just like the football playbook. If the conductor told us to pull out a song learned before, we were expected to know the song only minor errors were accepted. The conductor had the responsibility of uniting the band and making sure we are all playing it correctly. Just like how the coach needed to know the player to be able to read him and motivate him when needed, the conductor and the band leader had the responsibility of knowing who was slacking in learning their part, figure out if it was because of a personal reason, try to help solve the personal issue holding him back, and then make sure the musician is back on the right track. The conductor and the band leader had to make sure the players knew their parts so no one would be disappointed in the concert.

Recommendations and conclusion

As a person who was in a jazz band, but is not currently in it anymore, an observer, I can see how the jazz band is a discourse community. But, members who currently are still in it, do not realize it and just think what they are doing is just needed things to make the band prosper. According to Swales six points, the jazz band is indeed a discourse community and follows the characteristics perfectly. Therefore, no changes in the definition of a discourse community are needed.

For further research, one can not only study what happens in practice, but how the members interact outside of practice. Do they meet up on their own and have playing sessions with each other? Are they best of friends outside of the band? Another step is to study them during a concert itself and see how they interact and how the jazz band functions then. To see whether or not the characteristics of a discourse community can be followed outside of the practice room can be a research topic to be studied in the near future.

Works Cited

Branick, S. Coaches can read, too: An ethnographic study of a football coaching discourse community. (pp. 556-573).Print.

Swales, John. "The Concept of Discourse Community." Genre Analysis: English in Academic and Research Settings. Boston: Cambridge UP, 1990.(21-32). Print.

Revised Midterm Proposal

Zeyad Saleh

Topic: In this revised piece, I will focus on one aspect of a jazz band discourse community. I will focus on the communication aspect. Not only will I talk about the written aspects of communication, but the interpersonal communication between the player and conductor and also between the players themselves. I will touch up on the subject on how communication during a concert is different from that of a regular practice day.

1. Audience
The audience in this piece, just like in the original midterm piece, would be a group of musicians planning on joining a band. This piece should be able to help out musicians who want to know what goes on in a jazz band community prior to joining it. This piece will specifically be able to show this potential band member the communication aspect of a jazz band community.

2. Key Questions
Are there other forms of communication in a jazz band community besides written form? This will focus on finding out, from research done, whether or not other forms of communication exists that do not include paper or any other form of written communication.

How does a member of the band make it possible for the conductor to help him or motivate him? This will focus on to what extent would a member open up and be himself so the conductor can help him when the player needs it.

If any, what are the differences in communication during a concert and communication during a regular practice day? This will focus on finding out if communication would differ in different scenarios and if they did, is there a specific reason for the change?

3. Writerly Challenges and Concrete Goals

One goal I would like to achieve is to be as organized as possible. I want to have an introduction introducing the topic and purpose of the research, a body discussing my results from the research, and a conclusion that analyzes what the results mean and where the research can go from here. It will also conclude the whole piece. This is valuable because in order to present your ideas in a professional manner, they should not be all over the place but organized. If this is done successfully, the piece will have a flow and information will not be all over the place. However, if the paper is not organized, then it will be hard to follow and the reader will be confused.

Another goal is to make sure I can make a conclusion which ties up all the results. This is valuable because it is important to have a final position on an argument. If this is not done, then there will be a bunch of results but nothing to connect all the results with. If this was done, then a clear connection about the results and final position can be made.

The third goal is to be able to come up with a follow through with this research. New ideas for research or different directions to take this piece for upcoming research should be explained. This is valuable because it is important for the author to give the reader some ideas on why this piece was important and where to take it from there. If this was achieved, then follow-up research can be identified. However, if this was not made, then it will feel like a lot of research and conclusion have been made, but then so what? Who cares? Why does it just stop it here? The reader can be confused on how to take the piece further.

4. Genre Models

Since I am writing to a group of prospective jazz band members, I would probably write this as an article in a known jazz magazine. This magazine is seen by a lot of jazz students and jazz players. I should be able to structure my piece as an article in a magazine. One resource that can help me with that is a magazine named “Downbeat”. This is well known by the jazz community. Hopefully, many prospective band members also look at it. This source talks about many topics related to jazz. I will go on downbeat.com for reference on how to structure my piece as a magazine article.

Revised Midterm

Why Is Communication More Important Than Skill Level In A Jazz Band Community?

Usually when people listen to a very entertaining jazz ensemble, they think the band’s success comes mainly from the individual skill of the players. The more skilled the individuals are, the better the band will sound. Not only do some observers believe this, but many jazz band members believe in this as well. However, I am not one of those people because I believe that communication is the most important aspect. It is true that having a certain amount of skill is important in having a successful jazz band, but I think that having a strong sense of communication is needed more in a striving jazz band. But this is just a bold statement and evidence is needed. Therefore, the Bronx H.S of Science Jazz Band was studied and my previous experiences with them have been analyzed. Because of the many actions that happen in a jazz band, I had to go in knowing exactly what I am looking for. Therefore, I studied them with these four questions in mind:

1) What are the obvious forms of communications present in this band?
2) What are the hidden forms of communication present in this band? (Ones only band members know of)
3) Is there any form of interpersonal communication between the players and the conductor?
4) Is the communication present in a rehearsal different than that of a concert?

What do I mean by obvious? Obvious forms of communication are ones that can be seen by the audience and non-band members. Non-band members know that these communications exist and can see them being used. An obvious form of communication during rehearsal is the music itself. Sheet music is the actual papers filled with notes and notations that the players read. Even though there is no direct communication between the players, the sheet music represents the language used between the members. Each member needs to know how to read it and play what was written. This form of communication is a written form that is not expressed through speech, but through the tones coming out of the instruments. The music itself is a form of communication. One section plays their part and then the other responds back. During practice, each section had a folder with all of the sheet music in it. It was important that each player knew how to read their parts and how to play it. If one player did not learn his part or was not able to read his part, it would cause the band to be held back. The band cannot improve and move forward if each person did not know their parts.

Sheet music was not the only obvious forms of communication. Another example is the Facebook page the band uses. The Facebook page can be considered an obvious form of communication because it was made public to the audience and non-band members. The page was advertised throughout the school and during concerts. This way, non-band members can go on it and provide the band with recommendations and advice. This shows that non-band members know that this form of communication between members exists and is “obvious”. In this group, songs that were thought to be potential concert music were posted so that everyone can see it. The band members were able to communicate through this group. . For example, if a decision that sunglasses were going to be used in a song on a concert, someone would remind everyone to bring in the accessory by posting the reminder up on the Facebook group.

Sheet music and the Facebook group were examples of the obvious forms of communication. Is there any form of communication that’s hidden and only band members know about them? What do I mean by hidden forms of communication? Hidden forms of communications are ones that only band members know exists. One big example is the body language that happens between us during a rehearsal. When I was in the band, I was the trumpet leader, making me the leader of the whole band. I had the responsibility to make sure the band was on the right track and that no one was going off track. As band leader, I had more authority than everyone else. I was able to pick more songs to show to the conductor for us to play and I was in charge of controlling the band during solo periods, such as improvisation periods during a song. When I went to visit, I went to my disciple, the trumpet player who was one seat under me and who learned mainly everything from me. I was pleased to see that he took the role of being the leader of the band. He urged me to take out a trumpet and to lead the band during one of the songs I chose, “Superstition” by Stevie Wonder. I urged him that he was the leader now, but for old time’s sake, he convinced me to take charge with the song.

As this happened, I remembered all the ways we communicated during the song. I said, “Let’s start at the top and at measure 27, we’ll do repeats for improved solos for 16 bars. Remember to make the crescendo visible and make sure the notes in the beginning weren’t too staccato and bounced a little for a funky tone” As we got to measure 27, the band knew the drill. Whoever wanted the solo would make eye contact with me and I would make sure I saw everyone. I would point at who’s turn is next during the solo and that player would do his solo. When I wanted the solos to be done I would do a rotation with my finger in the air, which meant that I was the last soloist and the piece would continue on from there. In the middle of the song I noticed that we were speeding up and tapped my finger on the stand three times. The band members knew that meant to follow the drummer’s tempo. While doing this, we did not realize that we were forming our own way of communication. Observers had no idea what we were doing, but we did.

This hidden form of communication came in the form of body language; specific movements that we do in which the audience has no knowledge about. Newcomers had no knowledge in this form of communication, but after a few weeks, they would understand everything and would start using it. This form of communication acts as a replacement to speech. During a song, most members are busy with their parts and are using their mouths to play the instruments. Therefore, using other forms of body language was important to communicate throughout the band so that all members know exactly what to do and when to do it.

Branick, a researcher who researched a football community, states that there are other forms of communication than the ones stated above. He says that in a football coaching community, there are interpersonal forms of communication between the players and the coach. The coach needs to also be able to read the players and know how to motivate them and put them on the right track. For example, if a player had a few bad games and lost confidence, the player would need to know the player on a personal level to be able to motivate him and make the player gain confidence. Compared to football coach community, a jazz band community is the same thing. Just like how the coach needed to know the player to be able to read him and motivate him when needed, the conductor and the band leader had the responsibility of knowing who was slacking in learning their part, figure out if it was because of a personal reason, try to help solve the personal issue holding him back, and then make sure the musician is back on the right track. The conductor and the band leader had to make sure the players knew their parts so no one would be disappointed in the concert.

My senior year, the last year I was in the band, I remember one player, an alto sax player. He happened to be one of the best players I knew. He was one of the best soloists as well. However, he started showing up to practices late and wasn’t playing his part with the same enthusiasm and energy he had before. He started to be angry at everyone until one moment where a big fight broke between him and another player. At this moment, the conductor had to break it up and he pulled the player in. None of us knew what was going on, but the conductor and the player had a big talk. After this talk, the player was back to his normal self. He had a problem outside of the band and it was affecting him inside of the band. But, he was able to talk to the conductor about it and the conductor was able to understand the problem, help him find a solution, and finally, motivate the player to return to the player, but more importantly, the person he was before.

This incident showed us that the conductor can act as a fatherly figure to us. He can help us out with problems that happen outside of the band and therefore, motivate us to become better players and people. This showed us that we can have a certain emotional bond with the conductor. An emotional bond where we can tell him anything and he will try his best to help us, just like a father. This emotional bond is necessary for a band to function. As explained before, the player could not focus on his playing and was distracted. However, he built up a bond with the conductor and talked to him as if he was his second father and the player returned to the player he was before. Without this bond, the player could have remained in that distress state he was in before, distracting him from his priorities and the band.

A good area to look into is whether or not the communication stays the same during the concert. As stated before, during a rehearsal many different body languages are used. For example, we have the finger rotation the band leader does or the tap on the stand to follow the right tempo. During a concert, a very important aspect that can be the make it or break it mark is how professional the band is. Professionalism can tell the difference between an ok band and a great band. Now think about it. If you had a band member twirling his finger and tapping on a stand, would the band be thought of as being professional? OF COURSE NOT! Therefore, the body language done during rehearsals cannot and were not done during a concert. Instead, when anything had to be adjusted during a performance, it was the conductor’s job to notify the band. We had to occasionally make eye contact with him just in case he needed to tell us something during the performance. That way, the members can see what needs to be changed or adjusted, but the audience cannot see that communication and the professionalism remains there. So, yes communication is different in a rehearsal than in a concert.

All this information and details show that communication does exist (in various ways) in a jazz band. But, how do we show that it is more important than individual skill in a band’s success. Well, think about the last time you heard a band. Entertaining and successful bands will sound unified and as if one person was playing. There are many instruments playing, but there should be a balance so that everything fits in perfectly. It’s like a puzzle in a sense that there are many pieces but once they are all put together, it is one masterpiece. In order for that balance to happen, in order for all the pieces to be put together, there has to be some sort of communication. This communication can adjust volume, sound, or even tell players when to play. Part of communicating is giving advice to other players on how they can get better. There is always room for improving. As stated before, it is important to be able to communicate with the conductor on a personal level so that an emotional bond can exist. With this bond, the conductor would be able to motivate the player to improve and become a better player.

So, on the idea that individual skill is more important that communication, communication can cause a player to become better. The conductor and other players can communicate with each other to give them advice on how to improve. Without this communication, the only way to improve and become a more skilled individual is to practice on your own and who knows, you could be practicing the wrong way and instead of improving, the opposite can happen. Yes, I do believe that individual skill is important, but communication has its own benefits and will most likely cause a player to become a better player.

From this, we can see that there are forms of obvious and hidden communication and that communication does differ in a concert compared to a rehearsal. This communication is needed for a band to prosper and strive. Without this communication, being an amazing player means nothing. A band is like a family that needs communication to produce a balance between all the players. With this balance and unity, a masterpiece is made. This topic can be expanded into different areas. For example, I only used my former jazz band as examples and a place for research. What I found could only be true for this specific band. Therefore, different bands can be examined to see if the same happens there. Another direction to take this work is to look at communication in a different type of band, such as an orchestra or a rock band. Overall, communication is needed for a band to prosper and without it, the band will have a hard time uniting and creating that final masterpiece.

-Zeyad Saleh

Self-Evaluation

My original midterm piece was a research paper showing whether or not a jazz band can be considered a discourse community. As I was rereading my original piece, I noticed that I really did not enjoy talking about the jazz band as a discourse community. But, I did notice one interesting part of it. I was looking over the lexis and communication section and then it hit me. I noticed that communication was a huge part of a jazz band’s success. When a non-band member talks about how a good a jazz band is, they assume it’s because of the individual skill. However, I don’t agree with them. I think that communication is more important. That is why I decided to stay away from discourse communities and focus primarily on the communication aspect of the jazz band. Therefore, I decided my thesis was going to focus on how and why I think communication is more important than individual skill in a successful jazz band.

My audience was originally towards a group of potential musicians who want to join a band. The original piece would show them what goes on in a band community. For the revision, I thought that the audience would stay the same except with the piece portraying a different concept (focusing only on communication). Before I started writing the piece, I had to think about the genre I would be writing in. Originally, the piece was in the form of a research paper. But, I realized that research papers can get a bit boring and the reader can lose interest. To engage the reader, I decided that this piece has to be less formal and more interesting to read. Therefore, I decided to change into a genre that most people read with interest, a magazine article. I knew that in these types of articles, the writing has to be more engaging. Instead of splitting up the writing into sections such as: abstract, introduction, methodology, results, discussion and conclusion, the writing should be split up into paragraphs that flow from one to the other smoothly. That was the idea that was in my head while writing this piece and that is how I wanted my piece to be written.

Prior to writing the new piece, I went to the original midterm and took out everything that did not relate to communication. With what I had left, I started to write the new piece. I used what I already had as a basis to what to write. For example, I had an anecdote about the body language used during a rehearsal. I used that and expanded from there. I started to analyze that anecdote and continued to write my piece from there.

According to my proposal, I was going to focus on three main questions. These questions were :

1) Are there other forms of communication in a jazz band community besides written form? This will focus on finding out, from research done, whether or not other forms of communication exists that do not include paper or any other form of written communication.

2) How does a member of the band make it possible for the conductor to help him or motivate him? This will focus on to what extent would a member open up and be himself so the conductor can help him when the player needs it.

3) If any, what are the differences in communication during a concert and communication during a regular practice day? This will focus on finding out if communication would differ in different scenarios and if they did, is there a specific reason for the change?

I had these questions on my mind while writing and I planned on answering all of them. However, during the process, I realized that these questions had to be tweaked a little bit. The first question focuses on written forms of communication compared to other types of communication. I thought it was best to refine this question to prove my point more. Instead, I split it into forms of communications that can be seen by non-band members and forms of communications that only band members knew about. Instead of just talking about written and other, I chose to talk about those “obvious” communications and “hidden” communications. I thought that by doing this I can prove my thesis, that communication is more important than individual skill, efficiently.

For the second question, instead of focusing on how a player can open himself up so that the conductor is able to read him and motivate him, I decided to talk about how this communication between the conductor and the player creates an emotional bond that is needed for a band to prosper. I decided to do this because I thought that to prove my thesis, it would be better to show how this communication actually affects the band for the better. Therefore, I talked about this interpersonal form of communication and then talked about the importance of it.

This question I kept the same because I felt that it had a huge importance in my paper. Talking about the difference of communication in a rehearsal and in a concert takes my original topic and expands it into a new area of study. This way, the reader can be left with a new study that he can expand himself. Therefore, I decided to leave this question constant. I didn’t go into specific details because time was limited and I was not able to actually go to a concert and see for myself what happens. Instead, I used my personal experience and therefore, it had to be a little general. But what good is letting the reader find out by actually studying it when all the specifics are already written in the paper? This way it leaves different areas for where the reader can take this article and use it as a basis to something he wants to find or write about.

As I continued to write this piece, I found myself splitting the piece into different sections. First I had the introduction which introduced the article. After, my body paragraphs were split apart depending on the topic. First, obvious communications were talked about, then were hidden communications, then how communication differs in a concert compared to a rehearsal, then a paragraph talking about what all this information means, and finally, a conclusion that ties up the whole article and talks about where to go from there.

In the conclusion, besides just tying up everything and concluding my paper, I made sure to include different ways to expand this topic. Some ways were to study other jazz bands and other types of bands to see if what I found stays constant. For the body paragraphs, which was the bulk of the article and included most of the detail, I found myself introducing the topic, then using an anecdote(either from when I went to visit recently or from personal experiences), then finishing the section off by analyzing what the anecdote said and how that’s important. I thought that this would be the most efficient way to prove my point.

As I wrote this piece, I noticed that some of the writing choices I made were successful and some were not. One choice that I found successful was my choice of using personal narratives and anecdotes. Whenever I introduced a new topic, I included a personal narrative and was able to analyze it to prove my thesis. In this specific article, this is probably the best way of showing the specific evidence. How else would I show my evidence and still be interesting and entertaining? Using these narratives, I think I was able to show my points but still keep the reader engaged in it. Using narratives proved to be successful and I will make sure that in papers similar to this, I will use narratives to prove my points.

As I wrote my piece, I thought of the goals I had written in the contract. These goals were to be as organized as possible, for my conclusion to tie up everything and finally to tell the reader where to go from here. I think I was able to successfully achieve all my goals.

My first goal was to be as organized as possible. Therefore, I made sure that my introduction was clear and so were my conclusions. I also followed a strict system of introducing the topics in the body paragraphs, bringing up the narratives, and then analyzing them. I also split up the conclusion into two sections. One of them tied up all the details talked about before and talked about how I proved my thesis, and the other paragraph included follow ups to this article. Therefore, I would say that this revision was really organized. This way of organizing things is very effective and I think I will repeat this format for future papers that are similar to this.

My second goal was to have this conclusion that ties up everything. I noticed that I had a lot of detail but it wasn’t clear how my thesis was proven. Therefore one section of my conclusion tied up all the detail and evidence and stated how my point was proven. I specifically wrote, “All this information and details show that communication does exist (in various ways) in a jazz band. But, how do we show that it is more important than individual skill in a bands success.”, and then went on and explained how communication is more important. Therefore, this goal was achieved and I was pretty successful in doing it.

My last goal was to include different follow ups that the reader can use to go on from where I left him. I brought up two main ways in doing so. One was that I only looked at one jazz band and I did not know if the information I found was only true to this specific band or if it was true for all bands. Therefore, more amounts of jazz bands can be observed to see if what I found was consistent. Another example that brought up was that I only discussed jazz bands. What happens in different types of bands such as rock bands or orchestras? Would my evidence stay consistent with different types of bands? I was able to bring in different follow ups to what I originally had and therefore I achieved this goal and was successful.

All these were successes I had while doing this paper. However, this revision wasn’t all success and there was something I thought that was not successful at all. The main error that I did while writing this revision is that I started the paper by going back to my original midterm and taking out all the irrelevant text. Then, I used what was left over as a basis for the rest of my revision. This was not the best way to go about the left over text I had. With doing this, I felt as if I was stuck along the way because the ideas I was writing down were not flowing and all over the place. Sometimes I would start to lose my train of thought. Therefore, I will not repeat this method. I stopped what I was doing and started all over. Instead, I outlined everything I wanted to write about and with that, I had a format to follow. I started writing from the beginning and whenever I was in a section that involved text that I wrote previously, I went to my original piece and used those texts. So, instead of using my left over text as a basis, I started from the beginning and used the left over text where it was applicable. Overall, I think, for the most part, my contract was followed and the revision, as a whole, was successful.

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